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February 2020

January 2020

January 14, 2020 New Computer

It's funny how you think you have everything figured out.  21 Day Manifesting Challenge.  Intermittent Fasting.  A new plan for controlling Hashimoto's.  10,000 steps a day.  A blog entry everyday to keep my dieting on track.  Well, today I weighed in at 177.6.  I have gained several pounds in the last two weeks and my GERD is worse than ever !

I sleep sitting up.  I take Armour Thyroid at 4:30 so that I can have coffee at 5:30.  This time last year, my hair was falling out and I was so tired I couldn't think much less exercise or complete any project that required logic and thought.  I had my hair cut very short so that there would be no weight pulling on the roots.  I gave up my WEN shampoo because some other ladies had experienced hair loss.  I gave up drier sheets and Tide Pods and perfume and my favorite whipped body cream, Amazing Grace by Philosophy.  I did crossword puzzles and sudoku and spent a fortune in Andrew Lessman vitamins and supplements.  I saw allergists, general practioners, endocrinologists, ENTs, OBGYNs and gastroenterologists.  I had blood work, skin prick tests, a swallow test, a colonoscopy and an endoscopy.

I had finally decided that I had reached my expiration date and you know what happens once your warranty expires, everything falls apart.  

With the arrival of 65 I decided not to go gracefully into the days of the crone.  I will accept all of the wisdom.  I will grow my hair out and allow it to turn gray... as long as it doesn't all fall out.  I will try Dr. Denese and Dr. Dubrow and anyone else who has suggestions on how to preserve the wrapping on all of this gloriousness as long as I remember what really matters.

Today I had to cancel the automatic renewals on Skillshare, Microsoft Office and Noom.  Even after an enthusiastic attempt to use all three, I failed miserably.  I  had to call Express Scripts to give them a new credit card so that they could auto bill for the Thyroid Medicine... and call CVS to let them know that they could put their prescription back on the shelf. 

I scheduled my Annual Physical and made an appointment to get my eyes checked because the headaches are starting to concern me.  I had to call Intuit and admit that I had lost the CD for this year's Turbo Tax that had arrived sometime in November, another auto renewal that I had to cancel, and they were kind enough to refund the price and tell me how to download what I would need.

I had had to spend an hour or so on my Benefits web site trying to determine whether or not my eye exam was covered by Medicare part A or B and then finally just made the appointment accepting that I have no Vision Plan and will pay anything necessary to be sure that I protect my eyesight.

Just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief and satisfaction, I was informed that TurboTax was no longer supported by Windows 7, and I would have to update.

Of course my computer is no spring chicken and updating to 10, with the possibility of losing all saved photos and financial data proved too daunting and since I had a 65. refund from Best Buy, Jules and I decided to price a newer desktop computer.

I came home with a glorious "All In One" that I have 12 months to pay for interest free.  It is white and the screen is bigger than our first tv.  It only has one cord.  Even I was able to figure that out and turn it on, even though the 'on' button was very well hidden, and I am finding it very inspiring to have yet another faceless friend who responds to my voice and my touch !

After rearranging my desk to accommodate the new addition, becoming totally demoralized because Opie decided he needed to lay claim to Helen's space by spraying the paper shredder and wondering if this grand new blank hard drive with more memory than I will ever need was symbolic of the journey I have chosen to embark upon at 65...Oh What the Hell, my brain needs a challenge to stay viable !!

Now that Typepad is here, AOL Desktop Gold is here, Picasa is safe on Old Faithful 7.0 and the well sprayed shredder is in the trash, I am feeling calmer about all the loose ends this day opened with.

I am still experiencing digital motion sickness, "digital motion sickness is when the brain is deceived that we are moving even if we are not" and "Studies show that women are more susceptible than men, as are those with a history of migraines or concussion. Anecdotally, researchers say that people with traits associated with the “Type A” personality — such as perfectionism or ambition — also seem to be more vulnerable. Nobody knows exactly why this might be, but one theory is that people with these traits may also have a tendency to be more alert and reactive to sensory inputs, similar to people who get migraines".

So... before I fall off the digital ship I have one more task.  To try to find and install the purchased version of Microsoft Office Home Edition from a website, with a code... it all just seems too challenging.  Oh that's right, I am a crone in the making, bring it on !

January 7, 2020 Snow Day

When I decided to blog about turning sixty-five, I imagined that I would be very brave and share the blog on social media.   I had big ideas about interviewing experts on topics that are relevant to those of us in our sixties; bladder control, wrinkle eradication, weight loss and muscle building, make-up tips for the maturing face, hair loss, tooth whitening, supplements, batwings... you get the idea... but as I tried to embrace all of that, I realized that more than anything, I need to be authentic on this journey and love and loss and joy and sorrow... so much more important than "Poise" pads.

My Angel's Whispers came into being in 2008 and there was only one year, 2010, that I was faithful to my daily writing and that was because I was doing it with Shannon...My Angel.

Every day I would begin with the entries from her Gratitude Journal, and that would be my prompt for memories and synchronicities and "Whispers".  

One day in October, I decided to print those pages so that I would have a hard copy.  Magically, as I was looking through those entries, a Pop up ad appeared for Blog2Print.  It was a little more than I had intended to spend, but reasonable when you consider time and paper and ink, so I followed the ad to their web site.  In less than fifteen minutes, this incredible technology had compiled every entry for ten years into one volume.  I had written my book.  I picked a cover photo, entered my credit card and voila'... My Angel's Whispers.

When the book arrived I was amazed.  It is beautiful.  The quality of the paper and photographs far exceeded my expectations and I couldn't believe how much of my life I had forgotten.  At the end of 2020, I hope to have volume 2, filled with life and wisdom and wonder.

I considered starting a new blog space for 65 but my journey continues with Shannon.  Not in the traditional Mother Daughter way that I always imagined, but loving her transformed me, and why should that change just because our relationship is no longer "traditional".  So My Angel's Whispers continues.

So here we are.  Today it snowed.  I love the gentle hypnotic way that nature blankets everything in softness.  I also love that it invites you to snuggle up with indoor tasks that have been pushed to the side for far too long.   Today the snow invited me to create the space for my Flower Essence course of study.  Candles, crystals, essences, a photo of Christ, mala beads, books, a pen that has the word Inspire on the side, my notebook...that coincidentally says " Life isn't about finding yourself.  It's about creating yourself, " and photos of Shannon.

This room has been a guest room, a library, an office, a craft space, art space, work space and most recently, Helen's room.  So, there is a litter box, a cat tree, food and water bowls and several cat beds because she is very pampered and a little older than me in cat years.


This space is perfect for reflecting and remembering and learning and sharing and 65 seems far less daunting in this space on a snow day.  BUT, I have decided to keep it safe, instead of public, for those of you who magically join me.  I can't write thinking that I am incredibly self centered and there is someone else out there hanging on every word, but I can write knowing that if you are meant to join me, you will, and I will be so glad to have you.  ( Of course, if one day I wake up incredibly wise and write something so eloquent that it simply must be shared, well, you might see an invitation on Facebook. )

I imagine that I will get to the ordinary stuff that concerns us all, but I'm going to ease into it.  Unfortunately some things don't change with age and I know myself well enough to accept that I can't be too fixed in my schedule or too broad in my topics right away, or I will give up before I begin.

I have already missed several days but every task requires a wee bit of planning and a great deal of flexibility so I'm starting slow, being gentle with myself and looking forward to what is to come. For right now, in this minute, I think there is an Angel watching over my shoulder and I am so grateful.

January 2 ~ Catching Up

In November I ordered a book.  I don't remember ordering this particular book, so I consider it a gift from the Universe.

Super Attractor by Gabrielle Bernstein, and as fate would have it, "Gabby" was also offering a 21 Day Challenge, starting on January 1. 

"Fear Less, Trust More.  Release the Need to Control.  Feel Inspired and Guided.  Effortlessly Manifest, and Settle Into a Sense of Ease."

Of course I need all of that !

I am now behind in my blog but on track with Day 3 of the Challenge which seems to go hand in hand with the shared wisdom of Dear Abby.

I have recovered from being thrown to the ground by the treadmill and yesterday I had my first glass of celery juice. 

Mornings with Opie and Gabby and Celery Juice may take some discipline, but I am excited and inspired.  

Tomorrow I will even be caught up and on track !


January 1 ~ Just for Today

Today my very wise Aunt shared an article with me that perfectly framed my plans for this New Year.

As this blog is going to be my Year's End reminder of all that I have learned and embraced in 2020, it seemed fitting to open the year with these words of shared wisdom...

 “JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only.

I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow.

I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy.

I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me.

If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is.

I will face reality.

I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind.

I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable.

I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others.

I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health.

If I'm a smoker, I'll quit.

If I'm overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only for today.

And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions.” ― Abigail Van Buren