"Thank you for the new S.K. book. Thank you for the Belk job. Thank you for art not looking so bad. Thank you for spring following winter. Thank you for the holiday season." SAB 11-11-1997
Sometimes I lay my hands on the pages of Shannon's journal, I just like the smooth, cool, calm of the pages and I suppose touching the open letters and quick swirls and loops is an undefinable connection that makes me smile.
As I read her thank yous for November 11, I remembered the Belk job... gift wrapper. No one on planet Earth has ever taken more time and made more extreme effort to perfectly wrap gifts than Shannon. From the arduous choosing of the holiday paper to the perfect width ribbon and tape, through perfectly creased corners ... the wrapping was as important to Shannon as the gift. BUT... when she got the seasonal job at Belk, they wanted her to do it their way. Quickly, without using one extra inch of paper and her work was inspected and critiqued and far too many suggestions were made for her liking.
One night, one week in, they called to tell her that they had too many seasonal workers for the volume of shoppers and they would like to move her to the sales floor. I could only hear one side of the conversation but it went something like this, " No. No Thank You. Oh that's perfectly okay. No I understand. Yes I can see that you might think I'm better qualified for sales than some of the other wrappers but that's not really true. No, really I don't mind. I appreciate the offer but I think I'll decline. Okay, bye-bye."
The second the phone hit the cradle there was such delight. Squealing and jumping...Emmy didn't really understand all the fuss but she was standing on her hind legs with her big old paws on Shannon's chest and they were dancing around the kitchen floor like two little children. Brings tears to my eyes, such a joyful memory.
Shannon didn't really like the job but never quit at anything and was determined to stick it out. So you can understand her glee when they offered her a way out.
I know the next few weeks are going to be bittersweet. It doesn't matter that I've lived twelve Thanksgivings and twelve Christmases without Shannon. It doesn't matter that we have adapted and created new traditions, that Jules hasn't had to suffer through the decorating of the tree... since the cats would simply climb and un decorate it... I still miss my Shannon. I still miss her enthusiasm and excitement and my someone to pick cards with and wrap presents with.
I realized this year that it isn't that I miss having someone to do these things with. I have wonderful loving friends who are always willing... but I miss Shannon, and that's a space that won't be filled.
Savor each moment. Get excited over the colors, reds and greens, the glitter and the sparkle. Taste the cinnamon in the cider and left the fragrances of pumpkin and vanilla waft over you and leave you giddy. Remember the reasons we celebrate, the love shared, the kindness extended and don't waste a single second on unnecessary hustle and bustle.
This year, promise yourself to simply be present and enjoy.