I feel as if I haven't taken a deep breath in months. Today I had an echocardiogram. Watching the steady beating of my heart on a tiny black and white screen filled me with wonder and gratitude.
The miracle of a perfect pump that sustains us and fills us with "inspiration"... a pump that works against all odds, and inspite of unthinkable abuse, silently keeping time to our lives approximately 42,075,904 times each year.
Today is Maw Maw's Heaven day. My heart misses her...misses Shannon... misses my Mom...and beats on. My heart loves sunrise and hummingbirds and brightly colored zinias and the fragrance of basil and rosemary and lavender and beats on. My heart seems to have ignored the Oreos and Vinny's Pepperoni Pizza with Banana peppers and beats on.
Perfect rhythm. I am more aware as I sit in the quiet of an August evening... of this miracle inside my chest. A miracle that despite being broken beats on.
My heart aches for friends facing sadness and in the next moment flutters with joy at a passing memory. 2524654240 beats so far. One day it will wind down...but it will be full. I have been blessed with a good heart.
Inspiration. Always there. Not always noticed. Incredibly grateful.