I spent the last hour composing a post. It was full of wit and wisdom. It was all about learning to ride a bike and skinned knees and picking up and brushing off and moving with confidence into uncertainty. Wind in the hair kind of things.
When I pressed spellcheck the computer locked up and then shut down. Too many words, too little content I suppose.
Oh Well. The bottom line was that retiring for the second time is scary. Wonderful but scary. I have always needed direction, feared failure and kept that white knuckled grip on controlling the Universe... which, of course, I know I can not do !!
Then last week I got to spend time with my camera and two tiny boys who simply 'be'. They didn't overthink the leaves. They didn't ponder the seasons or the circle of life. They didn't lament how long it would take to pick them all up or how many more were still to fall. They weren't concerned with leaf bits in their shoes or the slippery acorns under foot.
They sat in, crawled on, ran through, ate, tossed, fell in, jumped on and listened to crispy, multicolored leaves and as the shutter clicked and the flash fired, I realized that their relaxed little boy joy was contagious.
These two, wonderfully adorable tiny teachers, reminded me of what is important. It wasn't about whether or not every shot was in focus or perfectly composed. My "performance anxiety" had floated off with the lightest leaves and I was simply "being" with them.
Change is scary and I will have adjustments to make as this next chapter unfolds. I know that life can't always be easy and delightful, but when it is...I plan to breathe it in, hold it gently and try to learn from my tiny teachers to just "be".